Look, I’ll be straight with you. Three years in the past, I used to be sitting in my house in Saigon, surrounded by half-empty espresso cups and countless to-do lists, questioning why I nonetheless felt caught regardless of all my “progress.”
I’d constructed a profitable enterprise, traveled the world, and checked off most of my targets. However one thing was off. I used to be dragging round invisible weights that made each step ahead really feel like pushing via mud.
It wasn’t till I began ruthlessly reducing issues from my life that the whole lot modified. Not including extra routines, not downloading one other productiveness app, however really letting go of the useless weight I’d been carrying for years.
Now that we’re just a few days into the brand new yr, perhaps you’re feeling that very same restlessness. That nagging sense that you just want an actual recent begin, not simply one other decision you’ll abandon by February.
Right here’s the factor: earlier than you’ll be able to construct one thing new, you should clear the bottom. And meaning eliminating these eight issues which can be quietly sabotaging your progress.
1. The fantasy model of your self
You understand the one I’m speaking about. The model of you that wakes up at 5 AM, meditates for an hour, runs 10 miles, and nonetheless has time to journal earlier than crushing it at work.
I spent years making an attempt to turn into this idealized model of myself. Studying each productiveness ebook, following each guru’s morning routine, consistently feeling like a failure once I hit snooze for the third time.
However right here’s what I realized: that fantasy model isn’t motivating you. It’s paralyzing you.
Each time you examine your precise self to this not possible commonplace, you’re reinforcing the idea that you just’re not ok. You’re setting your self up for disappointment earlier than you even begin.
The true breakthrough occurs if you settle for who you might be proper now and work from there. Not the particular person you suppose you ought to be, however the precise human being studying this text.
Begin the place you might be. Use what you’ve got. Do what you’ll be able to. That’s how actual change occurs.
2. Your habit to being busy
“How are you?”“Busy!”
Sound acquainted? We put on busyness like a badge of honor, as if consistently dashing from one factor to the following proves our price.
In my ebook “Hidden Secrets and techniques of Buddhism: How To Dwell With Most Affect and Minimal Ego”, I discover how Buddhist philosophy teaches us that fixed movement isn’t progress. Typically it’s simply noise.
I used to fill each second with one thing. Podcasts throughout walks, audiobooks throughout exercises, work calls throughout lunch. The considered empty area in my calendar really made me anxious.
However busyness is commonly simply refined procrastination. It’s simpler to remain busy with small duties than to face the large, scary adjustments we all know we have to make.
What would occur for those who really allowed your self to be nonetheless? To have gaps in your schedule? To say “I’m doing effectively” as a substitute of “I’m busy” when somebody asks how you might be?
The world gained’t finish. However your habit to fixed movement may, and that’s precisely what must occur.
3. Relationships that drain your vitality
We have to discuss these folks in your life who depart you feeling exhausted each time you work together with them.
You understand precisely who I imply. The good friend who solely calls after they want one thing. The member of the family who criticizes each resolution you make. The colleague who dumps their negativity on you each day.
I get it. Slicing folks out feels harsh, particularly when there’s historical past concerned. However sustaining relationships out of obligation or guilt is like carrying round a backpack stuffed with rocks. Finally, you’ll collapse below the burden.
This doesn’t imply you should burn bridges or create drama. Typically it’s so simple as not initiating contact, setting boundaries, or limiting your publicity to sure folks.
Your vitality is finite. Each minute you spend with somebody who drains you is a minute you’ll be able to’t spend with somebody who energizes you. Select correctly.
4. The necessity to have all of the solutions
After I turned a father lately, it hit me like a freight prepare: I’ve completely no thought what I’m doing. And for somebody who constructed a profession round giving recommendation, that was terrifying.
However it was additionally liberating.
We reside in a world that rewards certainty and confidence, even when it’s utterly unfounded. We’re anticipated to have five-year plans, clear opinions on the whole lot, and unwavering course.
However needing to have all of the solutions retains you caught. It prevents you from making an attempt new issues, asking for assist, or admitting if you’re flawed. It turns life right into a efficiency as a substitute of an expertise.
What for those who entered 2026 with the unconventional acceptance that you just don’t know what you don’t know? What if “I’m undecided” turned a superbly acceptable reply?
5. Your consolation zone disguised as self-care
Self-care has turn into the final word excuse for avoiding discomfort. Can’t face that tough dialog? Self-care. Don’t wish to push your self on the fitness center? Self-care. Avoiding that difficult venture? You guessed it, self-care.
Don’t get me flawed. Actual self-care is important. However someplace alongside the best way, we’ve confused self-care with self-indulgence.
True self-care typically means doing the exhausting issues. Having the uncomfortable dialog. Pushing via resistance. Dealing with the fears you’ve been avoiding.
Your consolation zone isn’t defending you. It’s shrinking your world, one “secure” alternative at a time.
6. The tales you inform your self about your previous
All of us have a story about who we’re based mostly on what’s occurred to us. Possibly you’re “the one who at all times will get neglected” or “the one who’s unhealthy with cash” or “somebody who can’t preserve relationships.”
I spent most of my twenties telling myself I used to be an anxious particular person. It turned my identification. Each resolution, each interplay was filtered via this story.
However as I write about in “Hidden Secrets and techniques of Buddhism”, Buddhist philosophy teaches us that we’re not our ideas or our previous experiences. We’re the notice observing them.
Your previous occurred, sure. However the story you inform your self about it? That’s elective. And if that story isn’t serving you, it’s time to jot down a brand new one.
7. The idea that you just want permission
Ready for the precise second. Ready for approval. Ready for somebody to inform you it’s okay to pursue what you need.
How a lot of your life have you ever spent ready for permission that’s by no means going to come back?
No person goes to faucet you on the shoulder and say, “Now’s your time.” No person goes to provide you a permission slip to alter careers, finish a relationship, or pursue your goals.
The cruel fact is that most individuals are too busy worrying about their very own lives to care about yours. That criticism you’re afraid of and that judgment you’re avoiding…it’s principally in your head.
Cease ready for exterior validation. The one permission you want is your individual.
8. Your obsession with potential
“You may have a lot potential.”
For years, I lived on this praise. It felt good to be seen as somebody with potentialities, somebody who might do nice issues… sometime.
However potential is a lure. It’s a cushty place to cover as a result of so long as you’re not making an attempt, you’ll be able to’t fail. So long as you don’t commit, you’ll be able to preserve all of your choices open.
Residing in potential means by no means having to face the messy actuality of precise achievement. It means staying safely within the realm of “could possibly be” as a substitute of coping with “what’s.”
In some unspecified time in the future, it’s important to money in that potential for one thing actual. Even when it’s imperfect. Even when it’s not what you imagined. As a result of unused potential isn’t really price something.
Ultimate phrases
Right here’s what no one tells you about recent begins: they’re not about including new issues to your life. They’re about creating area by eradicating what doesn’t belong.
These eight issues may really feel secure and comfy, however they’re really consolation blankets which have turn into straightjackets. They’re the invisible chains retaining you precisely the place you might be.
This yr, you’ve got a alternative. You possibly can drag all this baggage with you into one other yr, or you can begin reducing the useless weight now.
It gained’t be comfy. Letting go by no means is. However on the opposite facet of that discomfort is the liberty you’ve been in search of.
The query is: are you able to let go?
